Behavioral researchers say being a heterosexual male used to mean being macho, but guys today get mixed messages on all fronts as they navigate sex, drinking, friendships and the future.
"The social messages � about how to be a skillful person or a good guy vary quite widely," says Glenn Good, professor of direction psychology at the University of Missouri-Columbia.
Joseph Hammer, 23, who is working on a master's in counseling at Missouri, hears a lot of competing messages. "Your parents tell you things. Your friends say you things. Your teachers tell you things. You see things on TV."
How to deal with women?
"Guys know they're supposed to treat women as equals," says Andrew Smiler, an assistant professor of psychology at the State University of New York-Oswego. "But we haven't changed maleness and we haven't taught boys and men how to deal with these women.
"We still tell boys and men they should be in charge and bear the knickers," he adds. "Those are two messages � you want person who is your equalise, and you should still be in charge."
In his 2007 book Boys Adrift, family dr. Leonard Sax of Malvern, Pa., suggests that many young work force are becoming slackers, in part because of to a fault many hours of video games and a dearth of role models that undermine male motivation.
In the past tense, images of manhood glorified drinking and womanizing, researchers say, simply today, they note, in that respect seems to be equal pressure to be sensitive.
"A big proportion of young males view drinking and having sexual conquests as the appropriate way to begin to show they are an adult male," Good says. "Their male peers are saying 'Be tough' and girls are locution 'Tell me about your feelings."
Guys pal round and do "guy" things, like play video games, talk sports, watch porn, binge-drink and hook up, which sociologist and gender studies skillful Michael Kimmel of Stony Brook University-New York discusses in his new volume Guyland. It's based on surveys of 13,000 students at 17 colleges about sexual "hooking up." And he interviewed cd young workforce, most in their 20s.
"The middle class white idea of proving masculinity becomes the dominant form on campuses today. It's more intense and pervasive than ever earlier," he says.
Kimmel, 57, says there has always been "guy culture," but what's acceptable has changed.
"My generation's 'dating etiquette' is now called sexual assault," he says. "What we victimised to think was distinctive office behavior is at present sexual torment."
Kimmel says these hard-partying behaviors ar "almost universal" from ages 16 to 26 and are well-nigh prevalent on campuses, peculiarly at bombastic public universities. But they are besides evident among both minorities on campus and working-class males.
In their early 20s, "around relationships and around careers, women seem more focussed and task-oriented and have a better-defined life plan than the men do," Kimmel says. He worries that "that leads manpower to search more irresponsible or slackerly."
That's non true, he adds: "They just haven't figured extinct what they have to do to get on track."
Getting back on running
Kenny Gillis, a 2005 mechanical engine room graduate from the University of Colorado-Boulder, is finish a erolia minutilla in Williamstown, Mass., with a troupe that leads bicycle tours for teens.
His concluding semester of college, he interviewed with several engine room firms and accepted a job.
That spring, "I called them back and said 'I can't do this right now,' " he says. "I wasn't ready to go into the workforce."
But turning 25 last month made him settle to nidus more on his long-term goals, he says.
Peers play a critical use in validating gender personal identity for young men exploring their masculinity, experts tell. And even as this generation has more mixed-gender friendships, guy bonding, largely through shared activities, is important, says Geoffrey Greif, a University of Maryland professor world Health Organization interviewed 400 men of all ages for Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships.
Late teens and 20s is one of "two peak times" in life when friends toy a key role, he adds.
Greg Glasser, 19, of Columbus, Ohio, says he and his friends are into outdoor activities, from basketball to hike and swimming.
In the fall, football is "huge," says Glasser, a sophomore at Ohio University in Athens.
"Saturdays and Sundays are just football days," he says. "Guys gather around and throw a football in the yard during the clarence Day and go to the game and party."
So, if all this exposure to "guy culture" isn't salubrious, as some suggest, what's a guy wire to do?
Kimmel says staying affiliated with parents and determination at least one close guy friend will help.
Some manage to stay on track, including 22-year-old Layne Held, a credit analyst at a bank in Birmingham, Ala. He gradational in May with a business grade from the University of Georgia in Athens, where "people went to social class and treasured to do well.
"I knew going into college I wanted to have play and meet people, merely I realised I was going thither to catch an education. I had to get my studies done."
READERS: How do you define masculinity? How's it different to be a young guy today? If you're a parent, what messages ar you trying to transport your boy about "guy culture?"
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